


Future

by AJ_MOON28



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, F/M, Sam Winchester is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24621625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJ_MOON28/pseuds/AJ_MOON28
Summary: "This felt real." It was the last thing I said to her. Then she left.Set after 15.09.Short drabble about the thoughts Sam could've had after 15.09It's kinda not happy but I wanted to do that anyways. Shoot me.I don't own any of the characters.As usual, thanks for reading.
Relationships: Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 3





	Future

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks anu for always reading through my crap. You encourage me to write like no body else.

"This felt real." It was the last thing I said to her. Then she left.  
The door closed with loud finality behind her. My heart bleeds.

I understand why she felt the need leave. I understand that she can't see what's real and what not. I've been there. More than once. Still it hurts.

Sure we had our problems. Me being maybe a little overprotective. But we were good.

I hoped for a future. It was the first time in forever that I actually wanted a future with someone. After Jack, after Ketch, especially after Rowena things got pretty dark. Chuck even brought Lilith back! And who knows what else he did.

Then she found me. It was so good to see her, even as a ghost. Eileen. I had blamed myself for her death. Sure I didn't kill her. But I worked with the British men of letters and they turned on us. Which meant killing every hunter in America. Eileen was one of them.

She escaped from hell, of all places. Why Crowley even dragged her there I'll never understand and if he was still alive I'd definitely sink Ruby's knife deep into his heart. Yeah wishful thinking.  
The thought of Eileen in hell, having to live through it made me wanna burn the place. But she was out,she was a ghost but out. I knew she needed time to get over whatever happened to her down there.

Eileen wanted to be put away but not back to hell. Not again. She knew she had no future as a ghost, not a good one. She would've accepted any solution that allowed her not to be in hell. Dean suggested Rowenas Chrystal and yeah it wasn't perfect and thinking about Rowena atill stung but it was the best plan we had. Eileen was on board.

Rowena's place opened up for me just like that. No traps, no spell, as if it waited just for me. Man she really must've liked me. Though she always called me 'Samuel' which I hate, especially after the mess with our grandfather. But I was very fond of Rowena so I rarely said anything.

We found a way better solution in Rowena's place than the Chrystal. Rowena had worked on a special spell. For us, for mom. I'm speechless for a second. She really took a turn those free last years.

Witches came and wanted the stuff in Rowena's place. Together, even with Dean coming from the bench, we defeated them. We killed them all.

Back home Eileen and I did the spell. I was so scared that it might not work. I was even scaredy that it might work, scared of having something to loose.  
The spell worked. Eileen was alive. Really alive, not strings attached. I should send a frigging fruit basket to Rowena, she's the queen of hell now. Which is actually cool.

I get Eileen needed time to adjust but all she did was going hunting again. I worried my ass off, couldn't bare the thought of loosing her again. Might have overreacted.

We came to an agreement. If anything would go wrong she'd call and ask for help. It wasn't perfect but it worked. It was so good just to have her in the bunker I would've taken anything.  
Did I want more? Oh yes, I did. Slowly I started to feel safe. Feelings which had been burried after her death began to rise and grow.

Of course Chuck had to mess it all up. He used Eileen as his puppet. Metaphorically and physically. She had no free will. I could see in her eyes that it broke her spirit. Though he broke mine too. He took the one thing I always had from me. It was just for a split moment but it was enough. He took away my hope. Who knew that it would cure the gunshot wound Chuck and I shared? Well I guess Chuck knew, I didn't.

I couldn't use the Orb after what Chuck showed me. I couldn't let Cas bear the Mark, not after what I've seen. Dean's crushed being in the visions showed me what I already knew. He loves Cas, deeply. It had been kinda obvious for ages. For his sake I I always pretend not to notice. But the vision of Desn being basically hollow after he had to bury Cas in the Malaks Box showed me how deep his feelings run. No way I'd take that away from him. He has so little left. So I dropped the Orb and Chuck destroyed it. Afterwards he vanished into thin air.

Eileen left shortly after that. Before I could let her go I kissed her. Haven't kissed anyone in a long time, not for real. The hallucination with the British chick doesn't count.  
I kissed Eileen like I've never kissed anyone not even Jess, I think. Eileen even returned the kiss, acknowledging she felt the same. Still she left.

When I walk to the kitchen where Dean and Cas are I'm prepared for the lecture I'm sure Dean will give me. Before he can say anything I apologize. Not really sure for what but yeah I can't handle him being mad at me right now.

For once he doesn't get mad. For once he doesn't yell. For once he understands. Man what happened in purgatory? Who is this person and what have they done with my brother?

I notice the mood between Dean and Cas isn't like it was before they left for purgatory. You could say they barely talked, couldn't stand each other. Something really bad, which of course no one told me, must've happened between them when Cas left. But now it's lighter, better, almost back to their old status.

Dean should finally tell Cas what he really feels. Though it's not only Deab who keeps his feelings secret, Cas does it too. IDIOTS! They could have something.

I leave the morons alone, going to my room. I feel lonely, so lonely, after Eileen left. I could text her but i figured she needs time and space. Although she texts me that she arrived somewhere safe. She texts that she will stay in contact and ask for help if she needs it. That's something right?

I won't give up on her! That's what I promise myself. I'll give her as much time as she needs but I won't give up. Now more than ever I promise myself to find a way to defeat Chuck. I promise when we do and when we live to go back to Eileen, help her see that we are real, that what we have is real. It's either Eileen or no one. She is the one I want to have a future with.


End file.
